Diana Boylston

Miss B's Tips for Teens

Tip #1

How parents and caregivers react to and cope with a disaster or emergency situation can affect the way their children react. When parents and caregivers or other family members are able to deal with the situation calmly and confidently, they are often the best source of support for their children. One way to help children feel more confident and in control is to involve them in preparing a family disaster plan.

Children's Reaction to Disaster

The following are common reactions that children may exhibit following a disaster. While the following descriptions are typical, some children may exhibit none of these behaviors and others may behave in ways not mentioned here.

Birth Through 6 YEARS

• Although infants may not have words to describe their experiences, they can retain memories. They may react by being more irritable, crying more than usual, or wanting to be held and cuddled more. Preschool and kindergarten children can feel helpless, powerless, and frightened about being separated from their caregivers.

11 Through 18 Years

• As children mature, their responses become more similar to those of adults. Much of adolescence is focused on moving out into the world. Following a disaster, that world can seem more dangerous and unsafe. Teenagers may react by becoming involved in dangerous, risk-taking behaviors, such as reckless driving, and alcohol or drug use. Others may become fearful of leaving home and avoid social activity. Teenagers can feel overwhelmed by their intense emotions, yet unable to talk about them.

What Parents and Caregivers Can Do

It is important for parents and other caregivers to understand what is causing a child's anxieties and fears. Following a disaster, children are most afraid that:

• The event will happen again.
• Someone close to them will be killed or injured.
• They will be left alone or separated from their family.

Parents and caregivers can clarify misunderstandings of risk and danger by acknowledging children's concerns and perceptions. Discussions of preparedness plans can strengthen a child's sense of safety and security.

Listen to what a child is saying. If a young child asks questions about the event, answer them simply without the elaboration needed for an older child or adult. Children vary in the amount of information they need and can use. If a child has difficulty expressing his or her thoughts and feelings, then allowing them to draw a picture or tell a story of what happened may help.

Parents and Caregivers can take the following actions:

• Encourage your children to talk and listen to their concerns.
• Calmly provide factual information about the disaster and plans for insuring their ongoing safety.
• Involve your children in updating your family disaster plan and disaster supplies kit. Practice your plan.
• Involve your children by giving them specific tasks to let them know they can help restore family and community life.
• Spend extra time with your children.
• Re-establish daily routines for work, school, play, meals, and rest.

Tip #2

Never tell a child "it's been eleven months" since Katrina and they have to get over it now. That will never empower them and will probably keep any child and most adults stuck.

Please look a young person in the eye and ask them "How are things different since the storm?" If they don't speak up, tell them how things have changed for you. Many kids say they're ok, and they're not. Sometimes they won't express it because they can't and sometimes, they don't want to upset the adults in their lives.

Get some routine and structure back in their lives. Adults in New Orleans are talking about the number of children riding bikes and skipping school. Unless there is a specific reason for a child to be home, the kids are again "left behind" and set up for an unsuccessful life style. We all need normalcy and one stress buster is to get into a routine.

©2006 Diana Boylston